HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So vagazzling was a success
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
