well I can't set my house on fire every night
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
