God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
