there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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