Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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