Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
