my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
