I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
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