My nipple is on Facebook.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
