just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
