i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
