how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
