He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I wish i was in the wii world.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize