Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
