We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
