he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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