suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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