i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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