i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
