Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
