have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
