How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
