My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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