the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
