physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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