so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
