First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
