There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
