yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
