I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
