no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
