The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
