Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
