My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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