you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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