dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
