I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
