Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
