someone get that fucking seahorse.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize