Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize