we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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