At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
