All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
