just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize