glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
