You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
