do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
