The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize
