Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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