At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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