I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
