Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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