singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
