My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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