Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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