A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
