You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
