i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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