I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
