My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
