What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
