he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
